I've talked several times on here about my disconnect with music following touring with my old band. It seems that with all the music around me (i.e. in the van, opening bands, us playing, and listening to "the next it band" at some kids apartment) had me so burned out. Nothing sounded new, fresh, innovative, or even worth me listening to. All these new records would come out and I just didn't care.
Fast forward to now, almost 2 years after quitting the band, and finally I am enjoying new music. I find myself listening to it at every chance I get. Yesterday morning after getting out the shower, I instinctively went to my iPod and turned on Cold War Kids. It was amazing; having the desire to listen to music. It was like old days. I began reflecting on this and thinking about the artists that I have been most into for the past couple years. I could think of four: Johnny Cash, Led Zeppelin, mewithoutYou, and The Dixie Chicks. Only one of these had anything to do with the type of music I played. I wondered if this had any relationship to why I wasn't listening to music.
The more I thought of it, the more I realized that I don't know how to just be a fan of music. Ever since I began listening to music I was also playing it. Up until two years ago, every band that I listened to I (secretly) compared to my own music or tried to be inspired to incorporate some of their ideas into my music. Its weird that I never noticed this before, but it explains why post-Stiletto I could only listen to music that had nothing to do with my former band (mewithoutYou being the only exception). It wasn't that listening to other bands made me miss Stiletto or regret leaving the band, it was just that I couldn't enjoy the music because I didn't know how to just listen to it as a fan.
I am happy to report that I am learning. I am making the transformation to a music fan; someone who just listens to it purely for pleasure. Sure, I can still be inspired by it, but it doesn't necessarily have to inspire me to write more music.
I would love to hear some responses or your thoughts on this. Ron and Adam, did you ever go through something similar once you realized that you weren't going to pursue music as a career anymore? Kevin, what is it like not being a musician but still loving music? I am very interested in everyone's thoughts.
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3 comments:
I was never a musician, so I have no clue what to say about your conundrum.
Most people wouldn't get burnt out on everyday-listening music when they play the violin. Even after the workshops on the weekends, where we played for 8 hours straight, I never got tired of listening to classical tunes.
I remember a four month span of mourning my rock star career- fortunately, that time was spent working with Neil as an intern with La Casa...it was there that I experienced the joy, struggle, and excitment of working with students. It made for a great summer- and a fresh beginning as I headed back to APU in the fall of that year.
My love for rock and roll did die a little bit as I mourned (what I thought was my dream career). It was there that I embraced hip hop as a musical fave. The complexity of an unknown culture, the study of its roots and history, and the hope that would come that fall through artists like the roots, talib, blackstar, mos, etc left me compelled to say the least. I have been "freestyling" as I drive by myself most days since.
Today, I find myself a fan of music culture. I love the layers of sound, and the deconstruction of its tenants- the process and the enduring hope at its birth.
Although, I readily find myself disappointed in artists and albums in this individualistic i-podic music world- I still find myself excited in the potential that lies behind each musical note (shitty or not). And a few times a year am brought to tears, goosebumps, and another world.
Nole, I hope you find that being a fan is life giving.
I pretty much knew that i wasn't going to pursue music as a career when you and i were playing in a high school talent show with Barret Jurgemeyer... So i'm not really sure i can compare my story with yours.
But i defintely go through phases with my music, sometimes daily, where i love or hate the same thing in a day. Sometimes i wake up and i want to hear a certain type of music and i hate everything that doesn't sound like that. And then some days, my mind is completely open to whatever comes on the iPod and it all just sounds like sweet elixir to my ears.
That's about the only thing that can compare to your musical slump.
That being said, i totally understand why you'd go into a musical coma after all that you were exposed to. I can't keep it all straight and that scene would definitely cause my brain to melt...
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